That Smells Hot.

I kid you not:







Yes, kiddies. Paris has a fragrance. (Apparently, she has four.)

I was spending the afternoon with Hector (who's going to Philly this week - BOO!) and as if we were middle aged suburban mothers in Iowa, we wound up in TJ Maxx (do they spell it with two "x"'s for shock value?). Hector found what he wanted (an article of clothing for his boyfriend that I will not disclose - if you can even call it an article of clothing, lol) so we got in the line from Hell. While we were waiting, I noticed the fragrance section was right next to the cashier. I was just mentioning to Hector how I desperately wanted cologne earlier in the day, so I decided to go take a look.

There were quite a few choices at my disposal. Kenneth Cole Signature and one of the variants of Hugo Boss were both there and are both brands I've worn before, but were in the $30+ price range (I only brought $20 with me). Some of the fragrances were unfortunately automatic rule-outs, like Curve's 3rd fragrance whose name I cannot remember. (Everybody and their mom wears Curve.) After a few moments, I had it narrowed down to three: Cumbia and Blue something or other, both by United Colors of Benetton, and Just Me For Men by Paris Hilton. I picked up all three to show to Hector, and included the Paris one as a joke, but then he told me I should get it and he was being serious.

I contemplated the pros and cons: I really only picked up the Cumbia one to say I was wearing Cumbia (the kind of irritating tch-tch-TCH, tch-tch-TCH beat music my sister and I associate with the Mexicans in our neighborhood), and the Blue one because it was blue. However, Cumbia had a lemon looking ingredient in it (a PLUS - I'm a huge citrus nut). Just Me did too, but it also had essence of treemoss, which sounded creepy to me. And each of the UCoB ones were $10, whereas Just Me was $13. In the end, though, I decided to trust Hector's judgement and go with the Just Me.

And I opened it after I bought it - and it. is. ORGASMIC.

Paris once again manages to stun me, a feat she first started doing with her music (it's actually GOOD). And some might argue that I'm giving her more money, but she probably only makes like $1 from every bottle she sells. And then probably donates that money to charity!

...Ha ha, no, I couldn't keep a straight face that long either. Whatever. The point is, I have an awesome cologne, Paris has $13 more, and I am going to smell absolutely rapeable for the forseeable future. :)

Dora Tha X-Plora, Muthaf**kaz!

Understand this first: I don't really like Dora. I tend to dislike the kids shows that seem geared at talking to the kids like they're slow. Sesame Street doesn't do that, which is what I grew up on mostly, which is why...well, I was never an idiot.

Secondly, the song (Down aka Kilo's "Like A Cholo") is pretty bad. Definitely in the "so bad it's good" category for me, with other pop culture masterpieces like Fashion House and Showgirls. I mean, the guy can't even figure out which name he wants to go by as a "rapper". The actual music video is just as bad, but luckilly whoever put THIS video together realized that and turned out...

Well, see for yourself.



The yellow thing is scary as shit. The hen, star and moon are pretty much my favorite parts.

So? What do y'all think?

All's Well That's Tidwell

Chris Richardson has some competition.







Danny Tidwell is my husband.







Well, one of four. (The other three being Bobby Cannavale, Jay Hernandez, and as stated before, Chris Richardson.)

Yes, I know I'm a month behind in terms of SYTYCD 3. It's kind of taken me that long to recover. (Actually, I'm joking. While I wasn't ecstatic that Danny came in second, if there was anyone left that I wanted him to lose to, I'm glad it was Sabra. I am, however, ecstatic that Lacey was the FIRST ONE ELIMINATED in the finale. You have no idea how I felt when Cat said that one of the two was done between Danny and Lacey - then revealed that is was Lacey! And then that feeling was equaled when Cat asked Danny to join Neil and Sabra - to eliminate him, I was sure - THEN GOT RID OF NEIL! I don't think I've been that happy in a long, loooong time.)

But I digress.

Considering the despicable state of other reality tv competitions today (don't EVEN get me started on Big Brother 8...I doubt I'll be watching the finale considering who's left, and hope that both the winner and the runner-up both realize they can't buy dignity or a soul with their prize money), I'm glad I got so invested in SYTYCD this summer. Maybe since I pretty much watched it from the start this season, I got more invested and will probably find this year's cast tough to beat in terms of my likability, but I look forward to next season nonetheless.

And Danny Tidwell.







Are you kidding me?



















I'm NOT one of those fans who switched over halfway through the season - he's been my pick from the start, and as his brother did last year, he didn't let me down all season. Did they both come in second? Yes. But as the dumb kids in my old elementary school used to say, "First is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the hairy chest."

Let's face it: second really is the best in this case.







Rest assured, you can be sure that many and any possible future posts are subject to feature Mr. Tidwell.