pandas. bitch. run. now.

pandas. bitch. run. now.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Turn The Sun Down

My birthday is 3 weeks from today. My party is 2 weeks from tomorrow and I still haven't finished paying/planning/praying for it. School is just sucking increasingly more and more. The weather's going crazy, so crazy that apparently it's going to equal a hurricane for the city sometime within the next couple of years. And people are acting way too perky when I want to punch them in the face.

And the sun won't stop coming out. It's pissing me off.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Bring On The Handcuffs!

I don't have any minutes on my Sidekick, and I probably can't buy any more for a while despite getting my Tax Return check, because I have to pay for the Blue Party (which I'll explain at a later date). I'll also explain "Percival" at a later date, but the bell's about to ring and it's time for another gripe.

Because the authority figures at LaGuardia won't rest until our school has been entirely transformed into a prison, they're intending to add video surveillance cameras to the hallways to monitor the actions of students. Granted, there have been two trash can fires in the past week, but that's the most "exciting" incident that's happened here in all my years at LaGuardia. (Well, minus the whole bomb-threat, marijuana brownies, people that normally smoke in the bathroom and Meningitis outbreak). But come on, nobody walks around with weapons here, we don't have metal detectors (nor do we need them), and our classrooms still have windows, unlike a certain school across the street. On top of all this, the cameras are going to be hidden, so that students won't be able to tell whether they are or aren't on tape.

My main question: what the f**k? Seriously. In a post-9/11 world (and I'm sorry I'm getting all political here), some people are already paranoid enough, and that's without people that fear the government monitoring our every action. So why start that business in school, where we spend most of our day anyway? This year has been one bad idea after another, first adding 3 minutes to the official attendance period last term, then an additional ten minutes to the entire day. The cell phone policy put simply is assinine, considering that if a cell phone is confiscated a parental unit must come in to claim the device. Many people have parental units that WORK during the day so that they and their families can LIVE, so how does it make sense that they should be prevented from sustaining a living to pick up a device that is almost essential in today's world? To go even further, until the phone is returned to the student, they are without a means of communication to whomever they need to communicate with. This could cause minor problems such as not being able to pick up a loaf of bread from the bodega because you didn't get your text message, or it can (God forbid) go so far as to not being able to know a family member died because YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR PHONE.

I really can't wait to see how much further they'll go to butcher our rights. Bring on the orange jumpsuits!

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Cupcake Mountain Cater-Waiter and The Drunken Mexicano

For the record, because the school won't be content until absolutely everyone is miserable, I may be asked to stop this entry mid-way due to lack of space in the computer lab. But that's not important right now.

Last night was spectacular.

I don't even think anybody says "spectacular" anymore, but that's how amazing it was. (That, and people use the word "amazing" too much and it irritates me. I am an individual, I use my own words.)

So on Wednesday MCC (one of my extra-curricular programs) tells me that they're annual benefit is Monday the 13th, and that Bernie and Will, two of the three extremely important head honcho-like people, have asked me to open the entire night with a monologue that I wrote. And the benefit is being held at the Hammerstein Ballroom.

The fricking Hammerstein Ballroom. And they want me to go onstage. By myself. To open the entire night.


So of course Sunday night, I miraculously remember at like 1 in the morning that I'm supposed to be opening the Hammerstein Ballroom benefit the next night. And it's supposed to be memorized.


I spend about 20 minutes after I get out of school yesterday attempting to memorize the monologue. Luckilly Katie tells me the monologue "isn't really me" (MCC-speak for "are you f***ing kidding? You can do better.") so I revise the monologue and they love it and thankfully I don't have to memorize it. :) I end up sitting at an actual numbered table (where they were served real FOOD - and RICH PEOPLE food at that) and enjoying the night in the main area instead of being shuttled off to the side.

The performances and benefit itself: wonderful. But not what I'm going to talk about right now. I'll try and go through the main three highlights of my night.

Sorry. Four. The main four highlights of my night.

1: I got out of school at 2:30-ish yesterday (conference day, the last shred of hope for us LaGuardians) and ended up getting down there at 3. We weren't scheduled to be there 'til around 5, open the night at around 7, and the benefit wasn't to start until 8-ish. So I got there before everything was all prettified, and everybody's setting up for the evening's events. While waiting upstairs near the green room, the most ridiculously beautiful man I've probably seen all year begins to set up a bartending table outside on the balcony, roughly 10 feet away from me. I really don't think you understand what I mean by "ridiculously beautiful": the man was gorgeous. BEYOND gorgeous. Dirty blond buzz-cut, blue eyes, muscular body (and symmetrically muscular at that) accentuated by the tight white muscle shirt he was wearing. The definition of beauty, times thirteen. He ended up guarding the mountain of cupcakes they had set up at the beginning of the night in place of an ice sculpture or whatever the gorgeous main piece is when you first walk in to a ritzy event like this. Though as beautiful as he was, he definitely could have been the gorgeous main piece. After they disassembled the mountain, he began to be one of the cater-waiters and considering our table was near the kitchen, he walked by a countless amount of times, along with all the other hot cater-waiters. You would've thought they were serving beefcake for dinner & dessert. *obnoxious rich person laugh*

2: Did you hear me mention the cupcake mountain? Because that was definitely the dessert, and I kid you not, it was the BEST DAMN CAKE I HAVE EVER EATEN, EVER. I swear, it was like there was a party in my mouth, and nobody was invited. I had 2 and a half servings also, which I'm sure is waaaaay too much euphoria for one person to receive in one sitting, so I was ecstatic the rest of the night. :)

3: At ritzy benefits where they serve you strange looking hors d'oeuvres that you can't pronounce and most of them taste really bad but you eat them anyway and then there's usually one BEYOND delicious one that everyone keeps eating so that the cater-waiter that gets stuck with that is afraid to come by for fear of being mauled, there are usually ritzy gift bags filled with extravagant gifts! Last night's gift bag (one of the best ones I've ever received at any of the 10 or so benefits I've been to in the past couple of years) included a DVD (either "Monster In Law", "Wedding Crashers", "The Notebook" or "Raise Your Voice" - I ended up with "Monster In Law"), a Kenneth Cole fragrance (I got BLACK! I LOVE BLACK! I bought a bottle of black for $45 a couple of years ago and lost it, so I'm sooooo happy I have a brand-new bottle!), and a bunch of other stuff I didn't really pay attention to!

4: Probably the best part of the night though was Percival. (His name is NOT Percival - is anyone even named Percival anymore? - but for fear of someone important pertaining to Percival reading this, his name is Percival in this entry.) The bell's about to ring so I can't delve into the main details about it, but the next entry is definitely devoted to him. ;) Until next time...

Saturday, March 11, 2006

The Awkward Fart Question

So I went down to the LGBQT Center on 12th Street with Holland today, to take part in youth peer discussion. Boy was it awkward. First off, being that we only knew one another, it wasn't exactly easy to just hop in and befriend everyone. Especially considering most of them seemed to already know each other and didn't make too much of a large effort to get to know us. Secondly, some of the people had ridiculously over-the-top personalities, which was more intimidating. I know I can be a tad obnoxious every once in a while, but I try to make it the welcoming kind of obnoxious where I don't exclude new people from whatever it was/is that they' Probably the most awkward thing (well, second most awkward, since being eyed, looked up-and-down, ogled, glared at or any combination of the former) was the "ice-breaker" question, which was if you could have your farts smell like anything, what would you want it to smell like?


I said lemons. Whatever.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Caroted Kumquat

I'm pretty sure I hate school now.

The people have always been kind of irritating. There are exceptions, like my friends, but in general many LaGuardia students are just really REALLY obnoxious. On top of that they're unneccesary. How can you be obnoxious and unneccesary? That defeats what little purpose you had, if any.

Anyhow, Yoga is a pain in the ass. I signed up for it thinking it would be relaxing yet beneficial, and I could make up the gym credit I owe. I didn't know LaGuardia's definition of "relaxing" was working your body to near-collapsing points and leaving class every day sore and in pain by only 9:45 in the morning. I also signed up for Journalism, thinking that it might be a class of intrigue. Again, I didn't know LaGuardia had a different definition of "intrigue", entailing the largest amount of work I think I've ever done in any class during my entire academic career. For kids like me who are on the fence about REALLY wanting to go to college, they're doing a bad job of encouraging us.

So now I'm left with seeking refuge in the computer lab 4th period. This may have to change soon for two reasons though. I may need to switch Yoga to 4th period so I can prevent becoming a super-senior (any combination of 15 unprepareds - latenesses and absences count toward this - means that you fail the class for the semester. I already have 7, and it's only March 9th. I have 4 more months to go, plus a couple of days. This has got to be a formula for impending unhappiness.) I also may need to just not write blogs in school, since the BOE is now banning virtually every website in existence (like MySpace). Granted, some people allow themselves to get distracted too easily with that, and some people are just stupid and get kidnapped and raped (can I even say these kinds of things, or will this soon too be banned?) but I'm not one of them, and neither are a lot of other people. Group suffering for a minute number of individuals' stupidity. Gotta love the school system's interpretation of the First Amendment.

Ugh, I'm getting political now. Let me just stop before I end up writing something that could get this site taken away from us also. (Though I bet it's only a matter of time before it is anyway.)

Wednesday, March 08, 2006


So...yeah. I decided to make a blog here, since just about all my other blogs give me trouble when I try to write in them. Chances are I'll mostly be writing here when I'm bored out of my mind in school or when I'm on the bus via my sidekick, but we'll just have to see. I'm gonna hit the hay now. ;)